Dear Dog Trainers

It has been over six months since I have been paid to help other people train their dogs.  (Luckily for Moses and Alma, they’re not off the hook, and training continues at home regularly.)

Some photo ops aren't possible without a solid training foundation.

Some photo ops aren’t possible without a solid training foundation.

Working for a dog training company part-time on some evenings and weekends was part of my life for a few years, but like all good things, it had to come to an end.

To be honest, I thought I’d miss training a lot more than I do (I’m good at keeping myself busy). Actually, there are a few things in particular I don’t miss at all.

1.  The first thing I don’t miss is the self-inflicted pressure to have perfect dogs and be a perfect handler. Whether or not it was fair or completely rational, I felt as a trainer my dogs should be beaming examples of perfection. I mean, you wouldn’t necessarily want to take fashion advice from someone in mom-jeans and Crocs, would you? So why would you take training advice from someone who has been unsuccessful themselves? Of course, despite no longer being a trainer, I still have high behaviour expectations for Alma and Moses, but I do admit it’s relieving to no longer be representing an industry or business. If we happen to have an “off” day, I feel much less crappy about it. Similarly, I also care a bit less when I see someone else’s dog behaving like a maniac.

Moses and peers in the 'classroom' - sit-stay practice.

Moses and peers in the ‘classroom’ – sit-stay practice.

2.  I don’t at all miss the requests for free advice from acquaintances and coworkers. Talking about dogs is often an easy icebreaker when you don’t know someone very well, but if it comes out that you happen to train dogs when you’re not at the “real” job, the questions start coming. Initially my know-it-all nature loved this. However, I quickly noticed a frustrating and annoying pattern: no one actually applies the advice. I mean, sure, some people would sign up for a class after a good conversation, but they would be the minority. More often, I’d just get sporadic updates about an unruly dog battling the same challenges without reprieve – efforts to help completely futile. Even the most basic help, like “start by walking your dog daily” would fall on deaf ears. And it’s not like I’m going to give up a whole curriculum to near-strangers, anyway. I’m not about to hand out free access to information others pay good money for. I suppose if those cheap (or lazy) bastards really wanted to fix things, they would just enrol in a program. People definitely listen more closely if they’ve paid for your opinion.

Alma in class - also sit-stay practice

Alma in class – also sit-stay practice

3.  Lastly – and this is the big one – I do not, at all, not even one little bit, miss the politics in dog training.

Politics in the dog training community is ri-goddamn-diculous. It’s like a civil war in the overall dog community; it severs friendships, families, and business relationships.

It doesn’t matter who you’re talking about. The vitriol spewed by either camp at any given time is insane and enough to discourage the involvement of anyone with even a miniscule sense of reason or rationality. You can find more tact in the comments section of YouTube.

anchorman

It is difficult to speak of a middle ground between the two basic sides of positive reinforcement training (R+) and more coercive training (P+) (to over-simplify the distinction).

As is the case in most divisive issues, anyone attempting to create a middle ground and apply best practices from all corners of the quadrant might not successfully build any bridges at all, but instead can find themselves alone, with everyone remaining in uncompromising disagreement. Congratulations! Instead of having just one nemesis, now you have many!

operant conditioning

Which brings me to what I would like to say to ALL dog trainers:

Whether you practice positive reinforcement or coercive training, or a varying mix of the two, everyone needs to disregard egos and emotions and enlist only positive reinforcement (R+) techniques when it comes to dealing with fellow human beings.

A handy decision tree if this seems difficult.

A handy decision tree if this seems difficult.

This means your clients and potential clients. This means other pet-related businesses, from retail stores to rescue organizations. This mean other trainers.

We live in Canada – has no one learned anything from our elections process? Negative campaigns, gossip, and slander, while memorable, don’t actually prompt people to action. Negative campaigns haven’t shown to produce results in the undecided, and can risk alienating people. Positive messaging, however, has been proven to work for everyone.

There are many clichés that apply: negative messaging says more about you than it does about your target; take the high road; you catch more flies with honey; treat others the way you wish to be treated; losing ground follows from throwing mud. You’ve heard them all before. The fact is, rage-inducing or fear-mongering messages do not change minds, and often create avoidance in your intended audience. I don’t know about you, but when that crazy guy on the street corner is ranting about the End of Days, I don’t walk up to him and ask him to tell me more; I shuffle by quickly and avoid making eye contact.

"She said it was better to be kind than to be clever or good looking, I'm not clever or good looking. But I'm kind." - Derek

“She said it was better to be kind than to be clever or good looking, I’m not clever or good looking. But I’m kind.” – Derek

I truly wish more in the dog community would simply lead by example rather than create segregation and alienation.

Speak with your actions – use dogs you’ve worked with to speak to the validity of your training abilities and methods.

Rather than a correction-based trainer calling all R+ trainers “ineffective bribers”, why not just show – with real life examples and evidence – how their methods have successfully helped dogs?  Or rather than purely positive reinforcement trainers calling for the literal imprisonment of other trainers on account of animal abuse, why not just showcase how effective and safe their methods are?

[Aside: I am aware assigning labels in dog training treads in dangerous waters, and it’s essentially impossible to be extreme or absolute in any method. The terms are used here for effective communication. If you’d like a good perspective on the various dog training camps, I recommend reading The Dog Trainer Spectrum, by TheCrossOverTrainer.com.]

It boggles my mind that people think they can speak the way they do about, or to, other human beings when it comes to dog training. It’s often reactionary, emotional, and hostile. I understand that everyone gets that way from time to time; people can speak or act on an impulse when faced with something they strongly disagree with. I get that. I sometimes do that, too.

You just need to give people the benefit of the doubt (I know, how uncharacteristically optimistic and understanding of me). Even I know that sometimes people just don’t know any better or any differently.

For instance, if I see someone with their dog wandering off the sidewalk on a flexi-leash, instead of just thinking ‘my god, what a moron, control your dog!‘, I also try to acknowledge, ‘hey, any dog walk is better than no walk at all.’ Likewise, the training community could replace ‘omg look at that idiot using technique x, collar y, or company z for dog training,’ with ‘well, at least they have the foresight to seek professional help and want to make their dog’s life better.’

½ air, ½ water - technically, the glass is always full

½ air, ½ water – technically, the glass is always full

Sure, complete and total convictions in your methods and practices is admirable, if not a little impossible to execute in every facet of your life (see my post on hypocrisy here). Rigid fundamentalism at its core is, after all, unflinching, close-minded, and ultimately dangerous. A lack of empathy is a near requirement, regardless of what it’s about. Of course it is important that you and your business stand up for your principles and avoid unnecessary compromises, but it’s also crucial to acknowledge that no debate is about absolutes, and often there are indirect and subtle ways to effectively promote your perspective.

It is extremely frustrating that this Training War seeps into the rest of the pet world – affecting retail businesses, groomers, kennels, dog walkers, and rescue organizations. And the effect is damaging.

I never really understood how unwavering these convictions were until a few years ago when we were getting ASLC off the ground and this very thing caused me no end of frustration and befuddlement. We called Company X to ask if they would support the cause and host the petition, and much to my surprise, Company X immediately came back with a firm “No”. No, they would not support ASLC. Not because of the merits of ASLC or its founders – they absolutely did support the ban on a retail sale of dogs and cats and were glad to see us take on the cause. They did not want to get on board because they’d heard a rumour that Company Y was also going to be a supporter. And, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, companies X and Y train dogs differently.

This struck me as ludicrous.

"A dog is the most enthusiastic thing on the planet, if you go - do you wanna do this? It goes - definitely, that's my best thing." - Derek

“A dog is the most enthusiastic thing on the planet, if you go – do you wanna do this? It goes – definitely, that’s my best thing.” – Derek

Yes, the companies practiced business differently. But they also both strongly believed that breeding dogs and cats for sale in a pet store was categorically wrong. It did not matter, though, that the ASLC initiative is specifically focussed to one issue and purposely silent on other such matters. Simply because a perceived enemy or competitor also supported the good cause, they could not.

Are the issues connected? Sure, getting a pet and training it are pieces to the same puzzle; however, they are not so directly related that the positions of these training-only companies made any logical sense to me. They both ultimately want to improve the lives of pets, do they not?

Sometimes I wonder if the refusal to work with those who conduct themselves differently is a convenient excuse to avoid things that might be challenging, but then I remember to give the benefit of the doubt and think maybe just sometimes people let their piety get the best of them.

This divisive nature does a lot more harm than good. Emotional decisions are becoming a roadblock to taking action in the best interests of dogs – and of the pet community as a whole. Advocacy messages and rescue efforts are actually being harmed when the community can’t come together as a unified voice to support even simple causes they all actually agree on. Great opportunities for collaboration, promotion, and change are being refused.

How does that look to the public and to politicians when consensus cannot be reached due to unrelated issues?

Perhaps the segregation is the worst/dumbest part. Individuals and organizations decline to interact together on one thing because they disagree another. Well, you’ll never influence or educate anyone if you alienate or shame them.

If you’re trying to convince someone to abandon one training technique, or to see another within some context, you’ll never get anywhere with ridicule or avoidance. The best way to teach others – and to learn from them – is to spend time with people who see things differently than you. Otherwise, you also risk putting yourself in a bubble, and limiting your own knowledge and experience.

Bill-Nye

Bill Nye is a wise dude.

Insults don’t change minds. Leading by example does. Your training results will speak for themselves. Being a kind person who is pleasant to be around also helps a great deal. If you have common ground to converse over – rescue efforts, spay/neuter campaigns – the door opens for a bigger conversation. What happens when communication stalemates? Nothing. Exactly. So where’s the progress?

I know treating each person with respect can be a struggle from time to time – no one is more frustrated with stupidity and ignorance than yours truly – but it really comes down to representing the community in a dignified way.

Besides, I can guarantee average dog owners don’t know about the Training War that wages. Or if they do, they are more confused than ever, as companies now campaign to create suspicion around terms like “balanced”. Most clients aren’t, or don’t know to be, concerned with what philosophies a training company subscribes to as long as they can be helped with teaching their pups to walk nicely, to stop barking and chewing their stuff, and to not use the house as a bathroom – all while using a manner they’re comfortable with (whatever that may be). If they’re happy and get results, you have a client for life.

Not being an asshole definitely helps.

Not being an asshole definitely helps.

In Calgary alone there are dozens of companies offering a variety of training techniques – all competing for the same clients. Yes, competition among businesses makes sense and is ultimately good for the consumer. And as a working professional, you’re probably in it to make money just as much as you are to help dogs and dog owners (maybe more? or less? I don’t know. If I was in it for the money, I was doing it wrong). So, yes, please, go advertise that you’re the top local expert. Demonstrate why you’re better, more effective, and the best value for the price. But you can do all of this while rising above the slander and mudslinging with grace. You can make a strong business case without resorting to insults and without ostracizing others.

And if you’re going to engage in other parts of the pet community – rescue efforts, lobby campaigns – put the politics aside and do it for the animals directly. If your company demonstrates that it gives back without strings attached, you might even attract new clients and make some unexpected connections.

Remember when WWF Canada received flack for partnering with Coca Cola on environmental campaigns?

Coke & WWF

One example of apparent enemies collaborating for the greater good.

But who am I to say? I left the dog training world altogether – and not for any of the reasons described above. Any future role I might have from now on will be as a client, not an employee.

whatido

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About ThatJenK
Writing from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. 90% pictures of my dogs; 10% miscellaneous opinions nobody asked for.

32 Responses to Dear Dog Trainers

  1. jan says:

    Brilliant!! Thanks for the inside view of the world of dog training.

  2. Duncan says:

    Well said
    It can frustrating at times when trying to talk to or deal with people from the “other side ”
    I feel like most methods work, it just depends on what the dog and owner are comfortable with and what works for them

    Not all men/ women and not all dogs are created equal so there should not be just one right way to have a fulfilling loving relationship

  3. I, too, find the “dog fight” among trainers, training methods and the range of pain inflicted by shock collars- well, shocking. Any method that does not hurt or terrorize dogs, can transform dogs into good to live with, love muffins. And your two muffins look so lovable.

    Thanks for the awesome blog. What a lot of thought and information you put into this post. I’ll be back for more.

    • thatjenk says:

      Thanks for the comment!
      I agree there are people out there abusive with their animals who should be educated, but I still think the method of dealing with the people themselves should be/needs to be respectful. You can scream at a guy for hitting his dog at the park, for example, but that approach won’t get him to reevaluate his practices – he’ll just get mad and defensive.

      • That’s right. If we ever needed respectful and civil society, it is now. Yelling at a dog barking, just makes him bark more.

        To often we think we know (but guess) what other people are thinking or reacting to. Yelling at dogs or people doesn’t work, unless you’re trying to tell them a car is speeding toward them.

        Modeling effective guidance for your own dog or dogs helps. Offering a moment of empathy and a kind question may soften a person who is yelling into telling what is wrong (and, rarely, the dog’s fault).

  4. Clowie says:

    Sometimes it seems that whatever topic you pick that’s related to dogs will have people snapping at each other.

  5. Jessica says:

    That’s a good rant.

    What kills me is that even beyond the “big divide” of R+ and P+, there are such vitriolic debates. I mean, those two are very obvious and very deep differences. R+ trainers had to (and have to) work so hard to be taken seriously that a few hurt feelings are to be expected. But ask a group of people who are all dedicated to R+ training how they feel about clickers, for example, then step back and watch the bloodbath. Or luring. OMG. “Luring is the fastest and easiest way to get a dog to perform a behavior” “Luring doesn’t teach the dog anything except how to follow a cookie!” And on and on.

    • thatjenk says:

      Haha! In other words:

      How to Derail a Dog Training Conference/Online Thread in One Easy Step!

      Everyone is always happy to get agree and along… up until they don’t.

  6. Wow, what a rich and thoughtful post. Very well said.

    But I do struggle sometimes with the idealist vs realist school. In the end, I try to consider what’s going to enhance the relationship between a human and her dog. A person who loves her dog, walks her every day, but uses a choker collar is probably better than someone who spouts R+ jargon but ignores her dog most of the time.

    That said, your attitude shows exactly why you are needed in the dog training world. 🙂

  7. Sometimes… being human is somehow about making a lot of noise and getting a lot of attention… but not necessarily make a change for the better. We just like to …erm, be heard and understood. Heeding advice is secondary and probably not very important to those people who are the most attention -eeking… haha… so don’t feel too bad.

    Ah, to be human…

  8. Novroz says:

    I don’t know much about training a dog but I enjoy the writing.

    The quotes are wonderful. You know, I am using Bill Nye videos for my science class 😉

  9. Kristine says:

    Ha! I don’t know what I love more, your appeal to everyone’s more humane side or your Ricky Gervais references.

    Back before I ever blogged, I didn’t understand why everyone couldn’t just get along. Don’t we all have the same goals? Then I started writing and learning and yikes… I learned that maybe I didn’t really *want* to get along with everyone. But what I do try to keep in mind that we all are just doing our best and we all have to begin at the beginning. There are many people in this world I disagree with on countless subjects. Yelling at them isn’t going to get them to change their minds.

    Thanks for putting this together in your usual unique way.

    • thatjenk says:

      I don’t know about you, but I am very impatiently waiting for Derek Season 2!

      Dog training is but one example of heated debates that divides people into groups. Even though people are fully allowed to disagree on one subject, I’m not convinced that should completely hinder all potential collaboration on other things they absolutely do agree on.

      We already do this sort of thing on a regular basis anyway. I mean, if my office was staffed with 400 people exactly like me, don’t get me wrong, it would be quiet and organized and everyone would use full sentences in their email correspondences and there would be ZERO potluck lunch events, but it would also limit the experience, knowledge, and perspectives brought by interacting with all different sorts of people.

  10. 2browndawgs says:

    Since we use e-collar to train, you can bet I have heard it all and from the person you linked to above. 🙂 Blogging has been an eye opening experience for me because I never knew there was a huge debate between whether you should own a mix vs. a pure bred, feeding kibble vs. raw, and R+ vs. R-. When I am looking for a trainer, I look at how their dogs perform and whether I want my dogs to work like that. It is true whether we are training field or obedience. I really don’t care about what people do with their own dogs (leaving out abuse). But people are passionate and maybe it isn’t a bad thing?

    But I will disagree with one thing. Over here negative campaigning does work…people with low information love to latch onto it.

    Anyway, now I know why your dogs are always so cooperative in your photo sessions. I bet the training world will miss you. 🙂

    • thatjenk says:

      I have received the stink eye from some for using martingale collars, so I can only imagine your experience.
      I agree passion is generally a good thing… As long as it doesn’t completely overtake reason and logic (which it commonly does). I’m inclined to believe most training probably works quite well if applied consistently and the person is happy with it.
      You make an interesting point about low information and negative campaigning… an unfortunate truth maybe I just prefer not to acknowledge. 🙂

  11. Andrea says:

    Very insightful. As a dog groomer, I’m just relieved if the dog has a properly fitting collar (ANY collar!) and has had some training. ANY training. It’s not that I don’t have a preference as to how my personal dogs are trained, or what collars they wear, its just that if your dog has either of these things it is probably going to be a lot easier to handle than the dog flopping like a fish on the end of the strange binding tying its neck to the person beside it.

  12. Beth says:

    Very well written! I think Calgary is particularly nasty as far as dog training wars go. In conversation I have likened dog training methods to religions!

    The +R trainers are the worst offenders of the constant debate. They seem to think they are on a holy mission! You rarely hear from the prong/choke/shock collar trainers unless they are provoked.

  13. Cascadian Nomads says:

    I stopped telling people I worked as a dog trainer because I was so sick of patiently listening to their sad, neglected dog troubles that they expected some sort of quick fix for. Ugh. For each time I have gotten a compliment on how well trained my dogs are, I have gotten the stink eye for the martingale collar my tiny headed collie wears and skeptical flares when my reactive corgi gets past his threshold. Nobody’s perfect! But you have written a near perfect post on how good it feels to be free of a pretty stressful profession.

    • thatjenk says:

      I’ve been there! With everything you’ve said!
      I didn’t decide to train dogs because I liked people – it was because I like dogs. But there’s always that unfortunate realization that dogs come with owners, and training comes with other trainers. (Some are great, don’t get me wrong, but people always complicate matters.)

  14. Jodi says:

    I think sometimes taking a hard stand against something can be a good thing. There have been times when I’ve written adamantly about something only to have a reader share a different view point in a well thought out way and bang! My mind has been changed, because I can see another side to it. The key is to listen to each other and not get hot about it, which is hard when we are all so passionate.

    Great thought provoking post!

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