Why, Jake Gyllenhaal, Why?

Men and women alike can agree that Jake Gyllenhaal is a steamy dreamboat, right?  I mean, look at this guy.  I don’t think I’m saying anything controversial here.

And (to add some substance) he’s a good actor who chooses interesting roles.  What’s not to like?

Well, how about this?

Beloved Mr. Gyllenhaal has fallen into the fallacy of one of my top pet peeves: people who carry their dogs around.  Seriously.  They have four legs; let them use them.  The point of walking the dogs is… well… to walk.

 When I first saw the photo, I thought perhaps the accompanying caption would read “Jake Gyllenhaal Rescues Injured Dog on Local Beach, Saves Life”.  But I re-examined the photo and the only one seemingly concerned about the dog’s welfare is the poor dog itself, dangling precariously three feet above the solid ground where it should be.

 And apparently this dog is some sort of canine royalty, because he gets carried around a lot.

Don’t drop him! 

And it just seems to be the puggle.  I wonder why.  Probably because the shepherd is too heavy.  Or less-loved.  (Or, as I would argue, more loved.)

Maybe it’s the newest Hollywood exercise fad: carry around a 35 pound dog while still getting some cardio.

If there is a legitimate health reason for the carrying, then I suppose I understand and I have to take it all back.  But that doesn’t seem to be the case, because sometimes the dog is allowed to walk.

Might I suggest that is something the dog should be doing more often?

Set a good example for all those other dog owners out there. 

Like this.  Keep doing this.

Oh, except there’s that flexi-leash up there, isn’t it?  Seriously?!  Strike 2.

Okay, that’s better.

Actually… what if Jake Gyllenhaal is some sort of crazy canine fanatic?  Perhaps he can’t help himself?  See dog – must touch.

If that’s the case, public warning: should you be walking your dog and you happen see this guy headed in your direction – run!  He could be groping your dog before you know it!  He might even just carry him off!  Who’s to say that’s not how he got the puggle in the first place?

On second thought, scratch that.  Call me, Jake.  I’ll teach you how to walk your dog.


Husband:  don’t worry, you’re still #1.  Here, Jessica Alba needs your help:

About ThatJenK
Writing from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. 90% pictures of my dogs; 10% miscellaneous opinions nobody asked for.

5 Responses to Why, Jake Gyllenhaal, Why?

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